I was in a team building event for work recently and the facilitator asked us whether we like people more or technology more. Only one person was brave enough to raise his hand for technology. When asked why he liked technology more, he said, “I hate people.”
I’ve been in a funk lately and the longer it lasts the more I hate people too. Earlier this week my daughter had a chorus concert, the second of three this month (don’t ask me why), and I arrived straight from work and a friend of mine took a picture of me sleeping and posted it on whatsapp.
She did the same thing at the last concert, and I got mad. So when she did it again, I got madder. I told her I was mad, and that it was disrespectful to the chorus and it made me look like I was the one being disrespectful. I know I used the word “fucking” somewhere and I heard her ten year old daughter say, “ooh.”
Anyway she apologized and said she didn’t realize it would make me so mad and she wouldn’t do it anymore, which is good because I’m pretty sure I’m going to fall asleep at the third concert.
End of story? No. My wife is mad at me, because she thinks I shouldn’t have talked to her like that in front of the rest of us. She thinks I should apologize, probably because whenever she does me wrong, I always end up apologizing to her.
I hate people.
OK, maybe it was good-natured fun, and maybe I’m overreacting, and maybe I’m overreacting because there’s something else going on with me. The question I have is, does anyone care about me? Does anyone care that this pisses me off, whether you understand why or not? Does anyone stop to think, Is A.Lawrence ok? What else might be going on with A. Lawrence?
Is it even such a big deal? It lasted two seconds. I said my piece. I got it off my chest. I’m not holding a grudge. For God’s sake, I had just woken up. Is that worse than making fun of people? She didn’t kill my dog, no (as my wife felt compelled to point out). But I didn’t kill her dog either.
Right now, as far as I’m concerned, I would be fine not being friends with anybody. I’m as angry, more so actually, at my wife. She encouraged it and laughed at it and now she’s giving me shit and telling me to apologize. We had an exchange over text about it, which I ended with, “when I get home tonight, don’t talk to me.”
I hope she doesn’t talk to me for days. Maybe if people weren’t in my life I could live the way I want to live, for once. I’m in a mood, I know. Maybe it’s me. Maybe it will wear off, but I don’t know if I want it to.
A. Lawrence G. 
Yes you are spot on! I totally feel your sentiments. Those questions play on my mind too. Does anyone really care? Does anyone really understand? Does anyone even seek to understand? Humans are the most conniving, self-serving and destructive species, why did we expect more in the first place? But, at the end of the day, those sentiments almost always come to pass, replaced by resignation, acceptance and a willingness to just “move on”. Good luck to getting there. 🙂
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In people’s defense (or maybe I’m being too forgiving here) we as writers barter in empathy. What I think should be obvious to people, that behaviors that seem weird, for example, probably aren’t, is just not as obvious to someone who isn’t driven to try to understand people. In other words, we shouldn’t necessarily expect other people to be good at what we’re good at. I like to think that its our calling to help them see what others see (and to go the extra mile to see what they see). One of my least favorite phrases people say is, “I just don’t understand that.” Typically it’s meant as a judgement as if to say, “that doesn’t make sense,” but taken literally it’s true, They don’t understand!
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That’s right… unfortunately empathy is an art practised by a slim following…
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Mate, sometimes people suck. You have a right to be mad, I would be too. And people need to respect that, and not get mad at you for being mad at them. You are not in the wrong.
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That’s exactly how I feel. Thanks.
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